When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, "Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?"11She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said to her, "Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more." John 8:10-11
Once I hurt my wife’s feelings really badly. Now I am not talking about an everyday “ouch”; I hurt her to the depths of her heart and soul. I betrayed her trust and hurt her emotionally like no one else could (just so I am clear and people do not speculate I did not cheat on my wife nor did I hit her); it shook the foundation of our marriage. I broke down in tears with deep regret once I realized how I had emotionally hurt her, and ask for her forgiveness. She seeing my remorse quickly forgave me, but it took a long time before she could trust me concerning that matter. There is a difference between forgiveness and trust.
Forgiveness is a gift; the price for it is paid for by another. Forgiveness is the laying aside of all debts and forms of restitution and punishment as no longer owed; the slate is wiped clean. When true forgiveness is offered and accepted it is a new beginning.
Trust on the other hand is something that must be earned. When trust is broken it must be won back over time with true vigilance, honesty and integrity. Trust is not built over night (though it can be destroyed that way). To be trusted (esp. after losing trust) you must go through the fire, being patient and using every moment to prove yourself worthy. It can be a painstaking process but trust is not something to be taken lightly.
To help you better understand the difference between forgiveness and trust I will leave you with this example that was shared with me: If my brother steals money from me I will forgive him. However, the next time he comes to my house I will not leave my wallet on the table. Forgiveness is free to the receiver; trust must be diligently earned.
Have you broken trust? Are you truly repentant? Accept forgiveness and then seek to earn the trust back again. It will take time; be patient and diligent. Always remember that as a child of God will use our mistakes that we turn over to Him for good, no matter the severity of the sin (Rom. 8:28 ).
